Debe Bloom Knows Bittersweet….

If you are talking about art, Wikipedia defines Bittersweet as a medium brownish reddish orange color.

If biology is more of your conversational style, then you’d be pleased to know that bittersweet also refers to a vine in the nightshade family, some other vegetation of vines and, also, a family of shellfish, known as bittersweets or Dog cockles.

As an adjective, however, it means  both bitter and sweet:  expressing contrasting emotions of pain and pleasure.

I know that there are many circumstances where people experience both the sweet and the bitter.  Maybe even the bitter brings out more sweetness.  Actually, I do recall my Rabbi in northern California sharing a drash (sermon) of how a bit of bitterness in our lives makes the sweet so much sweeter.  Tonight, I felt a sharp bitter-sweetness.

A prize possession of mine, my 1969 VW Westfalia van conversion, a vehicle that I have so many fond memories of; that I cared for with the tender love of a mommie with her 6 month old baby; that I nurtured, bathed, dressed and refurbished and drove with pride was placed in a new home.  That was the bitter part.

 

 

 

The sweet part is the home is that of my son.  I know he will care for this van; it is something that he has longed for for many years.  As a matter of fact, he had the van once before when he needed a vehicle and he loved it.  It’s time for him to love it again, more, and deeper…and share it with his family.

Logically, I know this is probably the right thing to do. The reason why I decided to re-home the van is that living at the beach was starting to show on it’s body.  But wow! Bittersweet to the max!

Life carries so many situations that can be about opposite emotions.  Can you recall your latest pain and pleasure emotional event?

 

Debe Bloom Coming From Within

I just got home from a networking event that I co-hosted with a social networking coach.  I love doing these networking events; being in a room with dynamic, energetic, savvy women is an amazing experience.  Working with my ‘partner in crime’ is always fun…and it allows our creative juices to flow.

We take serious time to plan our agenda and make sure that the time invested is from our attendees is well worth their efforts of being in audience.  And our agenda runs tight to the clock to be considerate of everyone’s business schedules.

 

Part of  the agenda is a ‘commercial’, a speech, a ‘tell us who you are’ portion.  The women have anywhere from 90 seconds to 2 minutes that they can call their own, with the microphone in hand.  I had prepared a very poppie, power-word speech that capitalized on my last name.  Being spring (and the focus of our event), I wanted to put my last name into play.  Worlds like…Bunny, babies and Bloom!  Or Bond, Band, and Boost!  But when it was my turn up at the mic, I just couldn’t be ‘that’ person.  I am NOT Sascha.  I AM Debe.  Coaching is NOT a cookie-cutter service…it IS personal, unique and totally about my client.

That became my speech…who I am and what I do sans all the punch words.  And I learned something so powerful today:  Be who you are, from deep within.  Don’t do what others think you should do:  Do what you know you should do.  That’s the real punch!

What have you discovered recently that shows you know who you really are?

Debe Bloom Says ‘Words Are Amazing’

You’ve probably heard that coaches change their niche often throughout their career.  I remember when I was getting my certification that I was told I would metamorphosis constantly and therefore I would constantly be changing my client base.  Little did I know it would be my client base that would be changing my niche.

 

The interesting thing about coaching is that no matter the client or the fence in their way, the same basic questions are asked.  It takes a skillful coach to be able to reach into their toolbox to find the right inquiry to help their client remove those fences, but none-the-same, basically, the questions are the same if the subject matter is about family life, personnel issues or business in general.

 

What brought all this up is that I have two contacts I am dealing with currently.  One has had the ill fortune of getting involved with the wrong person on a romantic level.  The heartbreak is monumental.  Getting this person through all the grief of letting go, of looking towards the future and the positive ‘learning spin’ that the relationship had to offer was my goal.  This continues to be a work-in-progress.

The other contact has had to put a quick-growing business aside due to a sudden (but healing) health issue.  Pulling the fundamental issues of health over money is obvious, but it is actually a catch 22; and catch 22’s can be depressing and confusing.

I made contact with both of the people this morning and my first question to both was : How are you today?  I was asking one how the health issues were while I was asking the other how their emotions were.

Same question…different meanings….all leading to Removing their Invisible Fences.  What’s your feelings about this?

Toot! Toot! from the Eyes of Debe Bloom

Please don’t take this as Tooting my Own Horn, but something marvelous and interesting has been happening for me lately.  Last year I spent my days developing who I am, and being who I’ve become. At the end of the year, the very end, I was bestowed with two very prestigious gifts:
One being awarded the Certified Coach title of 2011 for the Woman Entrepreneur Business Award of Excellence. This was a huge surprise and I’m thrilled to be able to be on the list. This means that there are people out in the world that I have touched in some way; that I have helped make their life and or business better; that I made a difference. What an awesome feeling.
The second year end acknowledgment came to me, also as a surprise, but more like a present. This was something I just wasn’t’ expecting…and it has touched my soul:

So, 2012 is looking—but more importantly, feeling incredibly good for who I have become. Because, in addition to the two honors that came to me at year end, 2012 started off with a huge shout out from yet another person I hold in high esteem.
https://www.facebook.com/TheSNCCWay?sk=app_222972467721305

How nice to know that others acknowledge the value that has been building up within me. How nice to know that they share it with others.

Have you taken a moment to share your positive thoughts about someone who has made an impact on your Life or Business?

My Likes from the desk of Debe Bloom

Coaching allows me to dig down deep and offer up some unique ideas to help my clients move forward in their Life and in their Business.  It allows my own creativity to sneak up and become a unique tool in my ‘toolbox’.

One of my favorite questions to ask a client is ‘what do you like to do?…what defines who you are?” I thought I would take this moment to share my list, so you can get to know me a tad bit better:

I like tending to my dog. Julee was re-homed to us when she was a year old. We are her fifth home and when I heard that she was going into her 5^th home, I took her sight unseen. Yes, I know…it could have been a huge chore. But I was willing to take her even if she was missing her back legs. No dog deserves to be re-homed so many times.  The Peke stopped with me…and what an amazing friend she has been for the past 7 years.  I like bathing her (despite her whimpering throughout the entire process); I like feeding her; I like brushing her and believe it or not, I like picking up after her (shows I’m responsible).

I like taking my Nikon camera for walks with me on the beach.  I cannot get enough of the wonder of the ocean; how the force of the water can change the lay of the sand; how the sun glistens off the waves.  I like taking photos of collections: I have collections of the seasons; of benches from my travels; of colorful artsy personal landmarks.

I like getting creative with marketing.  I like brainstorming and coming up with eye-appealing slogans and unique logos (although I can’t draw a straight line).

I like taking on huge home projects…simple picture framing does nothing for me, but give me a house to remodel in a short period of time and I’m one happy camper.

I like moving, believe it or not.  That’s a huge ordeal for most, but I find it an excellent challenge and I like it.  Besides, it’s the perfect opportunity to pare down unneeded items!

I like watching children try to figure things out for themselves as they learn.  It’s so refreshing to see sweetness grow.

I like vintage cars.  Not the ones that have been altered, but the ones that the owners have taken the time and care to maintain them in their stock,  original status.  But, not the horseless carriage cars; more like 1950-80 and mostly foreign ones (foreign to the US that is).

I like putting a plant in the ground and then later reaping the benefits from it…be it a vegetable or a fruit.  Gardening sings to me as much as the rhythm of the ocean waves.

Those are just some of my likes.  My loves are a whole different list.   Do you have a list of likes? Have you shared your list with others?

Debe Bloom on The Ying and Yang of Life

January is an emotionally hard month for me.  It is the month that I acknowledge the passing of my dad.  Harder, it is the month that I hold with pain in my heart for the loss of my twin sister.

A friend of mine is off to downtown today.  She is going to spend it with her sister.  This is bittersweet for me.  Obviously, I’m wishing I was able to spend time with my sister…and I’m thrilled that she’s able to share time with hers.

I took my husband to the airport shuttle this morning.  He’s gone for two weeks (again). I treasure my time alone; my own space.

A friend of mine (who I’ve dealt with online thru an organization for those who have lost their twin siblings) told his friends that he had to make the painful decision to ‘pull the plug’: his wife suffered an aneurism just 8 days ago and went into a permanent coma.

I am incredibly proud of my daughter who has made her own life in a vibrant city….hours away from me.

I learned from social media that my own daughter was in the emergency room a couple of nights ago—seriously? On Facebook?  I guess she’s all grown up now.

There is, without question, ups and downs in our lives; good and bad. I told my friend who had to make that painful decision that I was in awe of him. It’s the truth; I am.  It takes strength and courage to take that action.  His loss is overwhelming, yet it’s so fresh, he hasn’t felt the depth of if yet.  I am still in awe.

There is only one lesson in this writing: be appreciative and enjoy life, no matter what path it leads you on.  Make each day count. Know that there is a Ying for each Yang.  This brings to mind that great quote of William Purkey’s:

Dance like no one is watching

Sing like no one is listening

Love like you’ve never been hurt

Live   like heaven is on earth

Debe Bloom’s Lentils for the New Year…

Lentils for the New Year…

Yesterday, I received a call from a childhood friend, one who I was able to reconnect with after decades of not being able to locate her (Thank you Social Media!!).  We hadn’t talked in a few weeks and it was a great chance to catch up on the latest; our travels, the people in our lives and our plans for the new year.

Just before what I thought was the end of our call, my friend said “make a pot of lentil soup and eat it right before the clock strikes midnight on New Years’ eve; it will bring you incredible financial luck in 2012.  And then, Deb, you can buy additional homes in the Wine Country (of California) and in the (San Francisco) Bay area.  You deserve so much, including homes in these places where you’d like to live.”

I was so touched by these words.  And I couldn’t just let them sit and percolate because I know the truth. And I shared this with her:

I know that I have my health; that I have my family and my family of friends.  I know that I wallow with passion in the coaching arena.  And the people I’ve met in my networking world are beyond top-notch.  I have a roof over my head and I can breathe fresh air.  My car isn’t the latest model, but it serves me well.  I have hobbies of photography and I’m able to play with my g-daughters (although I still have a bit of a problem realizing that I’m a g-ma—prefer being a Nonee!).  My husband treats me so good with love and adoration and my four-legged companion is by far a good friend, even though she is a persnickety Pekingese.

I allow myself the room to make errors as long as I learn from them….and I keep my mind open at all times to learn from others.  I have enthusiasm for life, for sharing and for exploring.

I then shared with my long-time childhood friend what another friend just told me earlier that day:  If you have 5 people that you can count on, for no matter what reason, be it family members or friends, you have everything.

I can honestly say, I am one very lucky, very blessed and feeling very complete person.  And I can also say that I will be making a pot of lentil soup to welcome the New Year…because it just sounds good.  Will you be joining me?

Debe Bloom ‘s –A Gift to Myself

One day, not very long ago— it was summer.  Our weather was so warm and inviting and made the rest of the country envious. Then, as if someone flipped a switch overnight, it was autumn.  The change in the air was so drastic and obvious.  And, then, *poof*! Winter arrived.

That is also true with a relationship I’ve witness recently.  Two people who were respectful of each other, who they were; what they brought to the table,  suddenly and immediately changed their relationship.  All done through the written word.  All done without the clearness of what a conversation could have lent to the situation. A once well-respected relationship drastically changed and vanished into what has now become a way of life, social media.

I subscribe to social media. I believe that we have only touched the surface of what is yet to come.  That said, I also subscribe to the ‘human touch’; to hearing the voice of another and knowing the intention of the author; to making sure that I’m not assuming what the written word is supposed to be.  After all, depending on my mood, if I read a note, my perception will be what flavors that writing.  If I’m in a soft, romantic mood, words can be received as warm.  However, if I’m in a state of anguish (for whatever reason), what I read can come across as a negative.

A very simple example:  My day was quiet—ho-hum.  When I read that coming from a place of warmth, this statement says to me that I appreciated a quiet day.  Yet, if I change my perspective towards a negative read, it says to me that I’m bored.

It saddens me that this relationship I’m referring to has turned. I had only met one of the participants of this duo; I was afraid my view was slanted (although the issue was not at all mine). I made myself the promise of changing that and had the chance to meet and learn about the other person. What a gift I gave myself; I enjoyed hours of conversation and created a warm spot in my life for another person.

Have you ever been a bystander to an issue and needed some clarity, even though you were not personally involved?  How did you handle it (for yourself)?

It’s Thanksgiving Time & I’ve Gone Blank…!

Well, that’s not necessarily true. I haven’t blogged in a while because I thought I hadn’t had anything of value to share. When I sit down at my computer, my mind would just whirl with a matrix of thoughts, none that made any sense to me. However, when I was away from my posting apparatus, fabulous thoughts would swirl—usually in the shower (how many times has that happened to you??)
My thoughts are still whirling. There’s a lot going on in my mind. The upcoming Thanksgiving holiday has me thinking about when to put the turkey in the oven; how to arrange the tables to sit 17 comfortably; will the dog need to be bathed on the day of, who’s going to wash my car for me today before my appointment at noon…and on and on.
Thanksgiving is such a warm celebration of the founding of our country; of family, friends, the harvest and having a bounty of food to share with all. The sound of having people I care about in my home warms my soul. It is because of that, and because families are constantly changing and growing, that our Thursday Thanksgiving celebration will be held on the day after, on Friday.
When the realization that celebrating on Thursday would have a table setting only for five, and all the efforts of making a memorable meal would be the same as if for 20, I asked my husband what his thoughts were if we were to move our celebration to the next day. His immediate response was “Thanksgiving is on a Thursday!” Naturally, after I explained to him that our home would be filled with so many more on Friday, he agreed.
However, the most prevalent thought lingers: “will Thanksgiving still feel like Thanksgiving if we are celebrating it on Friday, rather than Thursday?” What’s your thought?

Dealing with a Loss: Gaining Self

One of the things we both know is that every person is different. We each have our own tickle spots, and our own crying triggers. We each deal with stress in different ways and certainly, we each deal with our own grief in different ways. So what works for you, in the time frame that is best for you, may not work for me.

That being said, there are many who do work on the same level, do cry for the same reasons, do move forward at the same time.

I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t compare your personal story to that of others; don’t look to someone else’s healing as if the same exact process will be working for you.  Walk in the faith, however, that you will proceed in life and your life is going to be excellent.

Realize that the process has already started since you were able to empower yourself just by reaching out to learn more of who you are, where you can be going.

Each of us need to realize that we are in and of ourselves wonderful individuals with a lot to offer society. We stand for ourselves.  We each are stronger than any loss—no matter if it be someone we love, a house, a job, a relationship. We each bear the strength within to overcome any situation.  It’s up to us to allow that strength to come forward.

Have you tapped into your inner strength to Remove Your Invisible Fence©?