It’s Thanksgiving Time & I’ve Gone Blank…!

Well, that’s not necessarily true. I haven’t blogged in a while because I thought I hadn’t had anything of value to share. When I sit down at my computer, my mind would just whirl with a matrix of thoughts, none that made any sense to me. However, when I was away from my posting apparatus, fabulous thoughts would swirl—usually in the shower (how many times has that happened to you??)
My thoughts are still whirling. There’s a lot going on in my mind. The upcoming Thanksgiving holiday has me thinking about when to put the turkey in the oven; how to arrange the tables to sit 17 comfortably; will the dog need to be bathed on the day of, who’s going to wash my car for me today before my appointment at noon…and on and on.
Thanksgiving is such a warm celebration of the founding of our country; of family, friends, the harvest and having a bounty of food to share with all. The sound of having people I care about in my home warms my soul. It is because of that, and because families are constantly changing and growing, that our Thursday Thanksgiving celebration will be held on the day after, on Friday.
When the realization that celebrating on Thursday would have a table setting only for five, and all the efforts of making a memorable meal would be the same as if for 20, I asked my husband what his thoughts were if we were to move our celebration to the next day. His immediate response was “Thanksgiving is on a Thursday!” Naturally, after I explained to him that our home would be filled with so many more on Friday, he agreed.
However, the most prevalent thought lingers: “will Thanksgiving still feel like Thanksgiving if we are celebrating it on Friday, rather than Thursday?” What’s your thought?

Time for Self-Evaluation

When was the last time you sat quietly and took inventory of yourself?  Doing an analysis of

*who you are,

*what you have accomplished,

*what current issues you have to deal with (good or those ‘invisible fences’),

*how you deal with those issues,

*who is in your current activities and the benefits that come from those relationships

can add clarity to your next move, whether it be in your business world or your personal life.  When we are able to objectively look at ourselves, we can then have a better idea of who we are, where we are going, what goals we have accomplished and which ones need to be established.

Sometimes it’s hard to be objective when looking inwards.  Being able to talk with a friend about your issues can be beneficial, but then again, a friend may not be totally honest since hurt feelings could come between the friendship.  Having a non-bias person to talk to would be an excellent source.  From the International Coach Federation, these statics were published when an audience was surveyed about their feelings when working with a coach:

 

• 67.6% had a higher level of self-awareness
• 65% had smarter goal-setting abilities
• 60.5% indicated that they led a more balanced life
• 57% had lower stress levels
• 53% were able to do self-discovery
• 52% had more self-confidence
• 43% felt they had an improvement in the quality of life.

If your preference is to self-evaluate, be sure to take the time to write down your thoughts, organize your goals, and decide when your goals will be met.  And, the toughest step: be sure to hold yourself accountable. If you’re able to do this, you will find increased value in yourself and your life.

One question that can start you on the path of self-inventory:  Are you the kind of person who can bring value to others as well as yourself?

 

 

Of all the things in this life…

… that I hate to do the most, eating by myself, in public, is on top of the list.

 This may stem from being a twin and always had a partner to do everything with.  I know I totally became so reliant on having my partner with me all the time.  And it seemed that as I aged and became a working woman I was always able to find a co-worker to break bread with. Lucky for me, my husband and kids enjoy dining out with me, so the pattern has continued and has been cemented.

 So why would I have it any other way?  I still don’t like eating in public alone…and perhaps it’s because I care what other people think of me—how they judge me…”oh, poor overweight woman with no friends.”

 With my recently reduced body I have found myself a bit more confidant. With my recent crossing over to a new age and entering a new decade of life, I’m feeling a bit more secure in who I am.

 So much so, that I am writing this piece while sitting at a table…in public… Waiting for the single meal that was ordered from this table to be delivered.  

 But, apparently I’m not really alone…I have you!   I love being a work in progress!

My head is spinning….

….with more than images of plum fairies and snowcapped houses. Rather, all of the thoughts that have crossed it for the past few months that I haven’t been writing and submitting to you, my blog readers, are flooding my mind. It would have been much simpler for me to have taken the time when the thoughts first came to me and write, but I was deeply embedded in learning some life lessons that would not allow me to focus.

The lessons, for instance, if you stay focused on “if you have your health, you’ve got everything”, the hurdles that come your way can be jumped and then they become history. Breathing during stressful times is so important; breathing releases toxins that are created when stress is evident.

Another lesson I learned from a friend a few years ago and recently had to revisit: A house is only four walls. Four years ago, my husband, our Pekingese and myself made a huge decision to move from the San Francisco area back to Southern California to be closer to our granddaughter. Witnessing the growth of this baby—and the growth of her parents and eventually their family—was a blessed event and we wanted to be a part of it. When I shared the news of our move with my childhood friend, her approval ended with the words ‘a house is only 4 walls—you’ll make a new home near your kids’. That permission felt so good.

Fast forward: 2010 economy affected us. The lovely home we had created in Southern CA was no longer an affordable option and there was no time to waste in putting it on the real estate market to sell. Our options of home buying was incredibly slim due to the effects of the economy on our business. Renting an apartment and putting our things in storage created a tinge of anxiety since moving is not our most favorite thing to do, especially at our increasing ages. We decided to purchase an older home that needed loving hands in a mobile home park at the beach. It’s been a while since I’ve seen the movie The Money Pit; I am now living it! Lesson learned: Breathe and move forward—always forward.

True friends will be by your side, no matter. That’s a huge lesson that I’ve been reminded of during this upheaval in our lives. True friends do not have a time frame attached. For instance, I have a ‘friend’ I’ve known since the 9th grade. In the past (decades), we have been through a lot together. I’ve shared what trials and tribulations we currently were experiencing via email and voice mail with her and not once has she reached back out to me to offer support. On the other hand, friends that I have met in just the past couple of years have been offering their physical help, their moral support, their bread with us—those people have shown me what true friendship is. Lesson reminded and relearned!

The basics in life are enough….everything else is added whipped cream. Roof; check…walls; check…bathing; check….food; check….family; check…friends; check. Everything else (the vases, fancy silverware, 1000 thread count sheets, etc. etc.) is just added fluff to anyone’s life. The basics are what is important. Lesson learned.

I have learned to listen to my inner self. I have discovered that I am not only a strong person, I am also knowledgeable in areas that most wouldn’t think are possible. I am creative. I am responsible. These statements do not come from a place of conceit, but rather from the accolades department within. During the process of remodeling, I was able to use my life lesson’s to recreate a warm atmosphere with the knowledge I have; I was able to use my commonsense to construct; I stepped up to the plate to address issues of financial concerns..and so on and so on. I gave myself permission to be self-confident and progress was made. Lesson learned: Have faith in yourself.

As we enter into 2011, I am taking these lessons with me and appreciating every second of the day and every friend I am blessed to have with me, including my family and myself. I will deal with the hurdles that come along my path because I know that they are temporary and as my twin always reminded me “this too shall pass”.

Lessons Learned: We need to retain the lessons that we have learned in life as they make us who we are and what we can accomplish.

The best to all in the New Year…

Bitten…

Doesn’t it seem, sometimes, that you’ve been bitten by the Dark Cloud bug?  When everything in your world feels like it is crumbling under your feet and you just don’t know how to stop it?

That’s the feeling I was experiencing earlier this week.  It seemed like everything negative that could possibly happen, was.  And of course, my head experienced the spinning sensation; my heart – the racing sensation- my sleep, the awake sensation…I’m sure you know what I mean (although, I truly hope you don’t!).

What I neglected to bring into my thought pattern strongly was all the positive things that I have in my life.  My spouse is an unbelievable friend…my adult children have been huge supporters of mine….I am blessed with friends and a brother-in-law who has always shown love and concern…and my faithful dog who gives me that unconditional love, no matter how many times I leave her in the car (with air and water of course)!!

So, even though there are many fences that are putting up blockades in my current path, I also have an enormous ‘pavement of positive avenues’ ahead of me.   The process I needed to develop is listing out on paper (so I can clearly see) my positives and then set my action plan for the “bugs that have bitten” me.  Once I develop the action plan, those fences will come down and I will continue to move forward.

Now, I normally wouldn’t put my personal life out on the internet like this, but just making this simple list of goals really lightened my shoulders:

My positives:

Spouse

Daughter

Son

Friends

Bro-in-law

Julee, the dog

Health

Integrity

           Bug One: Finances

           Create a budget

Bug Two: Downsize Home

Decide on lifestyle

Decide on area

Decide on cost of new home

Find a new home

Start purging one box at a time

Decide where to store ‘stuff’

Contact storage yard

Start making trips into storage unit.

            Bug Three: The Move

           Contact moving companies for bids

           Decide on date of move

          Decide on date of garage sales

         Put ads on Craigslist for stuff for sale

         Try to get lots of sleep before the Move!

Bug Four: Post Move

Set bed up…set bathroom up

Organize kitchen

Then, unload 3 boxes a day.

If you are feeling overwhelmed with being Bitten by Bugs, I encourage you to grab some paper and a pen and start simplifying all of your to-dos into mini-lists….and then take a deep breath and move forward!

It’s the end of May…

Memorial Day weekend.  A reminder that summer has arrived.  Just a few days ago we had dreary, wet skies and “jacket climate”.   My community was wondering where summer was; where were we living, since the weather was not behaving the way it was supposed to behave at this time of year.  Today, just a few days later, it is a balmy 85 and cloudless sky.  Mother Nature came thru for us once again so we can celebrate the long weekend in the sun.

What a shame that when we have problems we have to take action to get them resolved.  It would be so blissful, if we could just wait it out and let Mother Nature take over and deal with our issues at hand.  Unfortuantley, that only happens in fairy tales or in our adolescences –not in the real world as adults.

Avoiding our delimnas,our problems, is not the answer since it doesn’t’ get a person very far.  Trying to find employment won’t be resolved by waiting until an employer comes knocking on your door;  Building your business won’t happen if you choose to watch television or go swimming during your normal working hours.  Altho I am a huge proponent of taking care of ourselves with quiet time and excerise, I also belive that none of us have Samatha’s magic nose that when we wiggle it, our dreams come to be.

Everything that we are involved in requires our attention and our efforts, to stay lateral or to improve.  It’s when we don’t pay attention that our arenas start to collapse.  In today’s economy and flavor of political strife-with oil spills that swallow up lives and livihoods-people losing their homes and security, now more than ever we need to look deep within ourselves and pull up the strength that each of us has; that each of us were taught; that each of our forefathers fought for us to have.

On this Memorial Day Weekend, as we honor ourselves in the extended time off of work, it is also the time to remember why we have the time off and work hard each day to honor those who have fought on our behalf.

 And the sun will shine for all us, no matter what the weatherman says.

Love Yourself—Start There

It’s February…still the beginning of the year, yet a month that is routinely cold with winter temperatures, rain and snow storms. Challenging driving conditions lends itself to weekend events that may have a low attendance in lieu of staying home by a crackling fireplace, avoiding the frustration of ruined hair styles, wet shoes and uncomfortable encounters.

February is also a month of many celebrations. We start with Groundhog Day which will forecast the length of our winter followed by 100th day of school, Charles Dickens’s Day, Thomas Edison’s birthday, and include Abe Lincoln’s and George Washington’s birthdays that have been combined into one holiday, President’s Day. Susan B. Anthony’s birthday is celebrated in February, and Mardi Gras, and even the day that Pluto, the Planet was discovered.

Perhaps the most popular holiday is St. Valentine’s Day, where we proclaim the love we have for others. Some may shout their affection ‘from the roof tops’ or quietly over a romantic glass of wine; while others will spend the evening as extravagant as possible and taking advantage of the many fine dining packages that are available.

I’m wondering, though, how many of us ever use Valentine’s Day to love and appreciate ourselves. Couldn’t this be the starting point of not just a successful February 14, but a powerful and meaningful year. I’m not thinking about the terrific spa packages that are available that we can treat ourselves to; or the delicious chocolate bon-bons; or cards and gifts. I’m thinking that this is where acknowledging who we are, what we’ve become, what we’ve accomplished would be a terrific gift to give ourselves.

Instead of focusing on all of the things you wish you could do or wish you had, write down all of the successes you have completed. That is a list that you can truly admire. It is something to be very proud of and that you can take with you throughout the rest of the year.

Wishing you a warm and exciting February!

Incidentally, adding to the list in upcoming months can only strengthen the love you have for yourself.

Moments of Luxury

Ever wonder why taking just a small slice of a moment for yourself feels like a luxury?

Could it be that you are so focused on your career that you forget about yourself? Or does your family come first, then your house, pet, friends, neighbors, etc, etc., leaving you so exhausted by the end of the day, you just don’t have any time—or energy—left for yourself?

I want to remind you of something that you hear each time you step onto an airplane as the attendant goes through the mundane, yet important, script—put your oxygen mask on yourself before you put it on anyone else. There’s a real simple and obvious reason for those instructions. What good will you be to others if you don’t take care of yourself?

In this time of holiday glee of getting to the mall and finding a parking space, shopping for gifts that need to be wrapped before they are discovered, making sure that the meals are prepared and on the table, attending events that you have been invited to–and focusing in on all the details of the events you are hosting—school holiday programs, decorating the house, etc etc. (It seems like this list can go on and on) it is most important that you take care of you, because in reality, no one else is responsible to do just that.

So, I’d like to invite you to take a moment, now………….Close your eyes……Take a deep breath…………Exhale and take another. Feels good, doesn’t it?

2009 is coming to a close and we are about to embark on a new, fresh year. Wouldn’t it be great to make 2010 the year you take for yourself; the year that your focus puts you on top of the list so you can be ready and available to those who surround your life. My hope for you is that you have many of your own moments in 2010!